The last time we were together, we chatted about "When the Journey Changes You: Stepping Into a New Year With a New Heart" and how God uses seasons of life to soften us, shape us, and invite us into a fresh start. Today, we’re taking that “new heart” message and making it personal: because a new year doesn’t automatically heal old wounds. This week is where we begin again—letting Jesus tend the tender places so your love can grow, your trust can rebuild, and your marriage can feel safe again, whether you’re before “I do” or years after.
Unhealed pain doesn’t stay quiet. It shows up in your tone, your timing, and your triggers. One small comment turns into a big fight. One mistake turns into a “you always” speech. That’s not because you don’t love each other. It’s often because something inside still hurts.
God cares about the tender places in your heart. He doesn’t shame you for having wounds. He invites you to bring them to Him.
“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3, NLT)
Healing doesn’t mean you pretend it didn’t happen. Healing means you stop dragging old pain into new conversations. It means you learn how to talk about hard things without crushing each other. It means you choose a Christ-centered path forward—one step at a time.
Healing Check-In (do this today)
Before you talk about anything heavy, ask:
“On a scale of 1–10, how safe do I feel with you right now?”
Then ask: “What would move it up by one?”
This keeps the talk honest, simple, and focused on growth.
Healing Week
- I DO choose healing over keeping score—because love can’t grow in a heart full of resentment.
- I DON’T drag yesterday’s wounds into today’s conversation—especially when God is offering a new beginning.
Here are 3 action steps for this week
- Name the wound, not the blame.
Say: “The moment that still hurts is ___.”
Then: “What I needed then was ___.”
No attacking. No defending. Just truth. - Create a “safe talk” rule.
Agree on this: no yelling, no insults, no interrupting. If emotions rise, pause for 10 seconds and pray. You’re not weak for pausing. You’re wise. - Practice one repair sentence every day.
Try this simple pattern:
- “I’m sorry for ___.”
- “I understand you felt ___.”
- “What would help you feel safe right now?”
These sentences rebuild trust. They rebuild connection. They help you feel like a team again.
A short prayer for healing
Lord Jesus, we bring You the hurt we keep hiding and the pain we keep repeating. Heal what’s broken in us so we don’t bleed on the one we love. Teach us to speak gently, forgive wisely, and build a Christ-centered marriage that feels safe again. Amen.
If you’re tired of repeating the same fight—or you’re engaged and want to build a strong foundation—book a 20-minute discovery call with me. Let’s talk about your next best step toward healing, trust, and a healthier, Christ-centered relationship.
Grace and peace,
Dr. Deborah