Last week was such a special moment on the Building Better Marriages podcast. My husband joined me for an honest, heart-to-heart conversation about marriage, unity, and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. If you haven’t listened yet, I encourage you to listen — because his voice adds so much to the conversation.
Today, I want to continue that journey by talking about something that lies at the very heart of God’s design for marriage: oneness.
What Does Oneness Mean?
Genesis 2:24 (NLT) gives us the foundation:
“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
Oneness is more than physical intimacy. It’s the weaving together of two hearts, two lives, and two stories into a single covenant relationship under God. It’s emotional, spiritual, and physical connection that reflects the love of Christ for His church.
What Oneness Is Not
It’s essential to understand what oneness is not:
- Oneness is not losing your identity. God made you unique, and that uniqueness enriches your marriage.
- Oneness is not control or dominance. It’s not about one voice overpowering the other.
- Oneness is not sameness. Your differences aren’t obstacles — they’re opportunities for growth.
God doesn’t erase your individuality; He unites it with your spouse’s for a greater purpose.
The Three Dimensions of Oneness
- Emotional Oneness – Sharing your heart honestly, listening without judgment, and choosing compassion when your spouse is vulnerable.
- Spiritual Oneness – Praying together, seeking God’s Word as a couple, and inviting His wisdom into your daily decisions.
- Physical Oneness – Intimacy that flows from safety, love, and covenant — not just meeting physical needs, but building deeper connection.
When you pursue oneness in these areas, you strengthen the very foundation of your marriage.
A Practical Step This Week
Choose one area of oneness — emotional, spiritual, or physical — and take one intentional step:
- Ask your spouse, “What’s on your heart right now?” and really listen.
- Pray together, even if it’s just a short prayer before bed.
- Offer a simple act of affection — hold hands, share a hug, or set aside time for intimacy.
Small choices build lasting connections.
I Do & I Don’t
- I do choose to move toward my spouse in love, even when it feels easier to pull away.
- I don’t let pride or busyness rob me of connection.
Final Thought
Friend, your marriage was created for oneness. When you live as one — emotionally, spiritually, and physically — you reflect the beauty of Christ’s love for His church.
It doesn’t mean the journey will be perfect, but it does mean you’ll face life together — hand in hand, heart to heart, under the covering of God’s love.
Dr Deborah
Founder, Heart to Heart Ministry and Coaching
Strengthening Marriages. Restoring Hearts. Equipping Lives.
PS. If this conversation spoke to your heart, don’t let it end here. Click here to schedule your complimentary 20-minute "heart to heart" chat with me. Let’s talk about your marriage, your challenges, and the steps to build a stronger, Christ-centered connection. And while you’re at it, subscribe to the podcast and share this episode with another couple who could use the encouragement.