By Dr Deborah Skomba

When couples begin preparing for marriage, they’re often told what to avoid: red flags, toxic traits, and behaviors that will lead to heartache. While this wisdom is important, it’s not the whole story. What if the key to a lasting, Christ-centered marriage isn’t only in identifying what’s wrong—but also in strengthening what’s right?

Many couples walk into their future together with fear: Will we make the same mistakes we’ve seen others make? What if we miss something? These questions matter. But so does this one: What if we’re more equipped than we think?

Let me say it clearly: God has already placed strengths in your relationship—gifts you can build on.

See What’s Working

We’re conditioned to fixate on flaws. But in Christ-centered relationships, it’s just as essential to affirm what’s working:

  • You pray together and invite God into your relationship
  • You’re committed to honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations
  • You honor one another’s boundaries and values
  • You encourage one another in purpose and faith
  • You’re open to growth and correction

These aren’t small things. These are spiritual assets—evidence of a relationship that’s rooted in trust, respect, and God’s truth.

Why This Perspective Matters

When we only focus on red flags, we operate from fear. But when we acknowledge strengths, we shift into faith-based building. This doesn’t mean we ignore hard truths or skip accountability. It means we give equal weight to what God has already developed in us.

Strengths are not the absence of problems. They are the presence of godly patterns. They are the fruit of character, integrity, and spiritual alignment.

“Every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.” – Hebrews 3:4

A strong marriage isn’t built in a moment. It’s established daily, brick by brick, choice by choice. The good news? You may already have more bricks than you realize.

Building Forward, Not Just Looking Back

Part of the "Before the Ring" process I guide couples through is reflection—but also redirection. Once you know what’s working, you can reinforce it:

  • Practice gratitude for your partner’s faith and character
  • Create space for deeper conversations rooted in truth and trust
  • Celebrate your shared wins—spiritual, emotional, and relational
  • Set goals that reflect what matters most in your walk with Christ and one another

This is how a foundation is built—not in fear of what could go wrong, but in faith in what God has already made right.

You Don’t Have to Guess—You Can Be Guided

That’s why I created the free guide: 10 Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before the Ring.

It helps you reflect on both challenges and strengths. Because clarity before the covenant isn’t just about preventing divorce—it’s about cultivating purpose.

If you’re dating seriously or engaged and want to talk about what’s already good—and what needs to grow—I’d love to support you.

Download the guide.
Schedule a free 20-minute Discovery Call.

Let’s build your marriage on the strengths God already gave you.

Who Is This For?

  • Couples who are dating seriously and talking about marriage

  • Engaged couples who want a deeper premarital process

  • Anyone who wants to know if their relationship reflects God’s design

Ready to Refer a Couple?

Do you know someone who could benefit from Before the Ring? I’d be honored if you connected us. And as a thank-you, I’ll send you a $25 Amazon Gift Card when they complete the program. Just have them mention your name when they sign up!

If you or someone you care about is standing at the doorway to marriage, don’t let them walk through it without checking the foundation. Let’s build strong, Christ-centered marriages that last a lifetime—starting before the ring.

With faith, love, and peace,
Dr. Deborah