By Dr Deborah Skomba

When we talk about preparing for marriage, most of the conversation tends to focus on problems—red flags, warning signs, and what not to ignore. And while those things matter deeply, there’s something just as important that often gets overlooked: your strengths.

You see, not every relationship is doomed by red flags. In fact, many couples have the raw material to build a Christ-centered marriage—they just need to recognize it, name it, and build from it.

If you’re seriously dating or engaged, now is the time to ask hard questions, but it’s also the time to discover what you’re already doing right.

“God doesn’t just highlight what’s broken—He reveals what He’s building.”

Let’s Talk About Red Flags

Yes, they matter. And no, they won’t go away after the wedding.

Things like emotional immaturity, boundary crossing, poor communication, and spiritual misalignment need to be addressed—not avoided. But those red flags aren’t there to shame you. They’re there to help you pause and reflect.

“Healthy marriages are built on truth—not assumptions.”

The mistake many couples make is thinking they can power through these warning signs without addressing them. But what’s ignored now tends to grow louder later.

The good news? Red flags don’t have to be dealbreakers. Sometimes, they’re divine invitations to grow—together.

But What About Your Strengths?

So many couples walk into marriage weighed down by fear of failure. But what if you could walk into it with faith in what’s already good?

Ask yourself: What are we doing well right now?

Here are some real strengths I see in couples all the time:

  • You pray together and take your spiritual walk seriously
  • You’re willing to ask hard questions and have honest conversations
  • You show each other respect, even in disagreement
  • You laugh often and truly enjoy each other’s presence
  • You both have a teachable spirit and desire to grow

“You’re not starting from scratch—you’re building on what God already placed in your relationship.”

In a world that focuses on flaws, it’s easy to miss what’s already working. But when you name your strengths, you gain clarity. You begin to see what God has already equipped you with to build a marriage that lasts.

Marriage Needs More Than Love

Love alone isn’t enough to sustain a marriage. You need wisdom, communication, shared vision, and spiritual alignment. But if you already have strengths in these areas—don’t overlook them. Celebrate them. Build on them.

“A house doesn’t stand because of what it avoids—it stands because of what it’s built on.”

Scripture tells us in Proverbs 24:3, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.”

When you focus on both red flags and real strengths, you move from fear-based decision making to faith-based discernment. That’s the heart of what I teach in Before the Ring.

You’re Not Starting From Scratch

You may still have questions. You may have concerns. But you also have tools, gifts, and strengths that God has already woven into your relationship.

Let’s name them. Let’s build from them. And let’s be honest about what needs attention.

Ready to Go Deeper?

Download your free guide:
10 Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before the Ring

It’s not just a checklist—it’s a conversation that could change everything.

And if you’d like personal support, I’d be honored to walk this journey with you.
Schedule your free 20-minute Discovery Call today.

Marriage doesn’t start with a ring. It starts with clarity, courage, and Christ. Let’s build from there.