When we think of love, most of us picture warm feelings, butterflies, romance, or even grand gestures from a Hallmark movie. But love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a choice. A powerful, often challenging, daily decision to put someone else above ourselves. And God, in His perfect wisdom, has given us a clear blueprint of what real love is supposed to look like.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, often called the “love chapter,” the Apostle Paul outlines what true, godly love is:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This passage isn’t just pretty poetry—it’s a practical guide for how we’re called to love in dating, marriage, and even in hard seasons.
- Love is Action, Not Emotion
The world says, “Follow your heart.” But God says, “Guard your heart” (Proverbs 4:23). Why? Because emotions come and go. God’s kind of love—agape love—is steady, selfless, and intentional. It’s not based on how we feel in the moment but on how we choose to act.
When setting expectations for love in a relationship, we must start with this truth: Real love is shown through patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, and truth.
- Setting Godly Expectations in Dating
Whether you’re dating or guiding someone who is, it’s essential to ask,
“Does this relationship reflect 1 Corinthians 13 love?”
If the answer is no, it’s time to pause. Love that honors God is not selfish or controlling. It doesn’t manipulate, lie, or rush you past your boundaries.
God’s blueprint helps us set healthy expectations from the start. You deserve someone who is learning to love like Jesus—not just someone who makes your heart race.
- Love in Marriage: Choosing Daily
For married couples, this Scripture becomes a measuring stick for how we treat our spouse. Are we being patient when they mess up? Are we kind when they’re short with us? Do we keep bringing up past wrongs, or have we truly forgiven?
Marriage isn’t about being “in love” every single day—it’s about choosing to love every day. That choice creates a strong, Christ-centered marriage that weathers storms and grows deeper with time.
- A Love That Mirrors God’s Heart
We don’t love this way naturally—it takes the Holy Spirit working in us. But the good news is that God doesn’t expect us to do this alone. His love is the model and the source. The more we abide in His love, the more we’re able to love others the way He calls us to.
John 15:12 reminds us, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” That’s the standard—His love, not the world’s.
If you’re struggling with what love should look like, go back to 1 Corinthians 13. Use it as a checklist, a prayer guide, and a mirror. Let it help you set biblical expectations for love that lead to healthy, lasting relationships.
Reflection Question:
Are there any parts of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that I struggle to live out in my relationships? What is one step I can take today to grow in that area?
Journaling Prompt:
Write a prayer asking God to help you love more like Him. Invite the Holy Spirit to show you where your expectations of love have been shaped more by the world than by His Word—and what needs to change.
Are you ready to love God’s way—fully, faithfully, and with purpose? The Biblical Love Checklist is your simple, powerful tool to reflect on what real love looks like based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Whether you’re single, dating, or married, this checklist will guide you in setting healthy expectations that reflect God’s heart for your relationship.
Click here to request your free download and take the first step toward love that lasts.
Love is not a fairy tale. It’s a faithful walk. And God’s blueprint is the best place to begin.
With love and truth,
Dr. Deborah
Heart to Heart Ministry and Coaching