While we have a tendency to get mad at an inverted umbrella on a rainy day or missing a tennis stroke purposes itself as a momentarily failure, prolonged frustrating episodes may lead to a low-self-image. If this results in an inability to look at faults honestly while suppressing anger within may lead to more serious low self- image problems. The following will help to focus and allow for daily assessment of taking one’s self too seriously.
1. Keep Control but Surrender Power. Anger carries with it a sense of power. People with low self-images are likely to get angry because they tend to tribute hostile intentions to others as the causes of their frustrations. If we possess healthy self-images we can more accurately interpret others’ intentions and avoid angry feelings. Surrender pursuit of control and power and accept themselves for whom and what you are.
2. Fix the Blame. Pull away from the shame of what happened and admit that it was not your fault. When fixing the blame where it belongs, then it is time to constructively deal with anger so that forgiveness can be given in its place. The motivation for healing is not the fear, shame or guilt but the love of God for oneself and then to others.
3. Develop a Habit of Friendly Self-Confrontation. By practicing a regular self-analysis, you will be able to see how well you are doing and where you may have deviated from your expectations. Knowledge of weak points in your character will only help to avoid potential problems.
4. Find a Trusted Friend. A self-analysis will work best with a devoted friend or group that will be honest in their feedback if you are wrong or straying from a righteous path.
5. Accept the Truth About Yourself. Base your healthy self-image on an accurate view of yourself. Avoid overemphazing your faults where you will see only the negative about yourself. Be prepared to accept the truth even if it means it goes against what you expect or desire.
6. Forgive Yourself. Many great sinners in the Bible found themselves accepted and forgiven by God. For healing, you must be willing to have the same forgiving attitude towards yourself as well as others. This is done by renewing your mind every day. As you listen to your thoughts, the negative will be captured and in its place you will release positive messages. Angry people need to stop the comparison-to-others messages and work with themselves the way they are.
Taken from:
Counseling for Anger, Mark P. Cosgrove, PHD