“For, ‘Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?’ But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 2:16 (NLT)
When it comes to building a marriage that reflects God’s heart, our mindset matters more than we often realize. The way we think about our spouse, interpret their actions, and process conflict flows directly from what’s happening in our hearts — and Scripture reminds us that, as believers, we have the mind of Christ.
In this powerful episode of Building Better Marriages, I sat down with John DeJarnette, a man whose story of faith and resilience reflects the transforming power of God’s truth. Together, we explored what it really means to have the mindset of Christ in marriage,and how that mindset can restore what feels broken, bring peace into chaos, and renew the way we love.
Renewal Begins in the Mind
John and I talked about how mindset shapes everything. Before attitudes shift or words change, something must first happen in our thoughts.
When couples allow the Holy Spirit to renew their thinking, they begin to see each other differently. Old habits give way to grace. Defensiveness turns into discernment. Instead of reacting in frustration, they learn to respond in love.
Having the mind of Christ means choosing humility, patience, and service over pride, resentment, or control. It’s about letting go of the need to be right and instead focusing on being righteous — in heart, word, and action.
As John said so beautifully, “When you let God change how you think, He’ll change how you love.”
The Power of Forgiveness and Servant Leadership
In our conversation, John shared how forgiveness is central to having Christ’s mindset. It’s not always easy, but it’s always freeing.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past; it releases its hold on your heart. It creates room for grace to grow and peace to flourish. When you forgive, you’re not condoning what happened — you’re inviting God to heal what hurts.
Servant leadership also came up as a vital piece of this mindset shift. Jesus led by serving. In marriage, that looks like asking, “How can I bless my spouse today?” or “How can I make their load lighter?” These simple questions, rooted in humility, have the power to change the atmosphere of a home.
Renewing Your Marriage Through the Mind of Christ
John and I also talked about how this mindset isn’t a one-time revelation — it’s a daily renewal.
Each morning offers a choice: to think like the world or to think like Christ.
When couples consistently choose the latter, transformation follows. Words soften. Understanding deepens. Hearts open.
And over time, they begin to reflect the very love of Christ to one another — a love that is patient, kind, enduring, and forgiving.
If your marriage feels weary, remember this: you don’t have to fix everything overnight. Just start by inviting Jesus into your thoughts. Ask Him to renew your mind and help you see your spouse through His eyes. That’s where true restoration begins.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank You for giving us Your mind through the Holy Spirit.
Help us to see our spouse as You see them — with compassion, grace, and understanding.
Renew our thoughts and attitudes, so our marriage reflects Your love and peace.
Amen.
I Do / I Don’t
I Do: I choose to think, love, and respond with the mind of Christ.
I Don’t: I don’t let pride, fear, or frustration lead my heart or my words.
And if you haven’t already, listen to my full conversation with John DeJarnette on the Building Better Marriages podcast — available now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and everywhere you listen.
Until next time, keep building better marriages - one choice, one prayer, and one moment at a time.
Dr. Deborah
Founder, Heart to Heart Ministry
Strengthening Marriages. Restoring Hearts. Equipping Lives.
If you’re ready to renew your mindset and restore the peace in your marriage, let’s talk.
Schedule here a 20-minute Heart-to-Heart Call with Dr. Deborah today and discover how faith-based tools can help you heal and reconnect in your marriage.